Sun-day

Nikki was feeling much better today after a good night's sleep last night (after 3 consecutive sleepless nights before that). We had our usual family lunch together at Nikki and Adrian's home this afternoon. It was good to be together, warming ourselves in the sun, feasting on Adrian's culinary delights (he REALLY makes a good stew!)

Nikki's tummy is still very swollen and they are once again faced with some big decisions regarding her treatment going forward. Please continue to pray for good rest for her, the pain and swelling in her abdomen to subside and for clarity regarding the decisions she needs to make.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Nikki asked me to please pass on a message from her - to say she is so thankful for all your loving, concerned and supportive messages via email and SMS. Please understand that she is not in a position to answer each of them personally at this stage.

More news as and when it happens (as they say!)...

The Way I was Made

Nikki is back home from hospital. She came home last night. She is feeling better after they drained 1.5 l of fluid from her abdomen. It was a long day of tests and poking and prodding and she was looking forward to getting into her own bed to rest (I think we all know that hospitals are NOT the place for rest).

Haven't chatted to her this morning yet but will update with more news when I know more.

I thought I would include the lyrics of a song that was playing on my iPod when we were at Shelley Point recently - they really spoke to Nix and challenged her. She has shared them with most people she has met with since then. It is such a wonderful challenge for all of us. From Chris Tomlin's song, The Way I was Made:

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life...

Nix has still been in a lot of pain today, especially in her abdomen. She phoned the Doc this morning and he asked her to come in to the hospital so they could do some more tests and drain fluid from the abdominal cavity - it has been very swollen. They will also do a CT of the lungs and a bone scan and any other tests the doc feels necessary. I was with her about an hour ago. She took some coritsone shortly before I arrived (for the swelling) and that seemed to help the pain in general so she was much happier by the time I got there.

So she and Adrian have just left for Vincent Palotti and she will most likely spend the night there. Please pray with me for God's hand and His peace to be on her through it all and for a good report from the tests.

The hamster is doing well - swollen but hardly any pain!

Just to let you all know my op went well today, glad it's behind me now - thank you for all your prayers and messages!

Nix's pain has been a bit better since getting a script for some pain medication from the Doc. She was battling with nausea today. I wasn't able to chat to her today as I actually wasn't able to chat at all (amazing, I know, but true - they managed to shut me up!). But despite the nausea, she was still able to send me witty guinea pig messages...

CT Scan and more...

Nikki went for a CT scan of her abdomen last week and met with the Doc on Friday for her results. Before the meeting, as always, she had her bloodwork done and then we had a bit of time to wait before her appointment.

Over coffee, she shared with me how she knew that the news was not going to be good. She had been through a difficult (painful and emotional) week and a number of friends had rallied around to pray with her just the day before the doctor's appointment where she really experienced a breakthrough in this time of prayer and was released from the pain that had been gripping her head for the week. She was in a very positive place and challenged me to laugh with her at whatever results were revealed - just to come in the opposite spirit of this sickness and it's symptoms.

So, when the oncologist said "I am afraid I don't have good news for you", all I could manage as I looked across the room at my beautiful, courageous sister's face was a smile and 2 thumbs up, although my heart was shattered to pieces inside. The CT scan revealed that the disease has now spread into the lungs and there are some more spots on the liver. As the doctor looked at me, I saw there were tears in his eyes and that started mine off... He told Nix that she could stop taking the oral chemotherapy that has been playing such havoc with her feet. She declared, "Oh yay! No more pills!!" to which he responded, "Oh you and your silver lining!" This once again sums up Nikki's incredible attitude.

The doctor always knew that there was a limited time for her to stay on this chemotherapy drug as it eventually becomes resistant to the disease. He is now not certain of where to go with her treatment at this stage. He will be meeting with a panel of oncologists on Wednesday to discuss her case and to make a decision on this. Please pray with us for Godly wisdom for the doctors as they meet together on Wednesday. Nikki will need to go for another CT scan of the chest area as well as a bone scan in the next week or so to get more clarity on the extent of the disease.

Nikki was in a lot of pain over the weekend and today, mainly in her head and in her abdomen. It is very difficult to see her in such pain. I am not sure whether this pain is because she has stopped all the drugs for now. We called the doctor and they have prescribed a pain killer for her for the interim until they have had their meeting. Please pray for peace to prevail in her heart and home and for the pain to go. It is also really difficult to stay positive and faith-filled when you are experiencing symptoms like she is. I feel that this is the time for us to rally around her and to cover her in prayer.

In the last few days, I have been encouraged by this scripture from 2 Chronicles 20:15 - "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours but God's"

God's people were facing annihilation by a vast army (much like Nikki's fight against cancer). As they moved in obedience to him and went out singing "Give thanks to the Lord, our God and king, His love endures forever", the Lord set up ambushes against their enemies and defeated them all.

We praise God and thank Him for His incredible love for us, which overcomes all things!

Psalm 5:12 - "For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous, you surround them with your favour as with a shield"

Thank God, we are highly favoured!

Oh yes - My mom goes in to have x rays on her arm on Wednesday and to meet with the doc regarding her progress in that area (we are praying for a good report) and I am going in to have my wisdom teeth ripped out of my skull (lovely! Nikki is already calling me colourful names like "Hamster Holloway" and guinea pig) so please keep us in your prayers too - So much appreciated :-)

Things have been quiet on my side for a while now and there have been a number of reasons for that. One is that there has not been very much news on Nikki's health to comment on over the last few months, but mostly, I have been in a bit of an "in between" place where I felt I needed time to put some things down for a season and re-focus. I felt peace about being in this place but more recently, I have felt that I need to pick up the (irregular) updates on the blog once again.

Through this time, I have not been able to move away from the revelation that it (life and all that that entails) is all about Jesus and our lives bringing glory to Him. As the bible says in Hebrews 12:2, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...", we need to keep our eyes fixed on Him. He alone is the source of our strength, peace, joy, everything! He is the reason we live. I have no idea how I would find the strength to walk this road without Him. So now that you know a little bit about where I am at, let me tell you a bit about where Nikki is at...

Nikki has been through some very difficult stuff over the last few weeks. About a month ago, a friend whom she met through her walk with cancer (and the only person she has met to date who had the same rare diagnosis as her), Nina Furno, passed away in hospice. Nina was also a young mother and full of life and character. Her sad passing and the devastating effect it has had on her family and loved ones has really brought a bit of nasty reality into Nikki's life. Also - she has been struggling with the side-effects of the new chemo she is on. Apart from nausea, she has lost most of the layers of skin on the bottom of her hands and feet. For her, walking across a thick pile carpet feels like walking over cut glass. She is also losing her toenails and struggling a bit with her sight. I share these things not for effect or sensationalism or so that you can feel sorry for her but so that you can continue to hold Nikki and her family up in prayer and so that you know what the specific areas of prayer needs are. As always, we continue to believe our God for a miracle of total healing for Nikki.

I have also been holding little Hannah in my heart and in my prayers - She has such a soft, gentle, sensitive spirit and I feel that she is beginning to get anxious about the way things are. Please pray for peace for her precious heart. I pray that she would have a revelation of Who holds her future.

As always, we so value your prayers, love and support. Till next time...

Matt 11:28

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Still on a High!!

We are back home from our holiday but are still on a high. Actually, we were back 2 weeks ago (but I have lacked the words to describe it till now!). Wow!! We are now officially spoiled for the ordinary.

The holiday started with a train journey from Cape Town to Johannesburg on the Shoshaloza Meyl Premier Classe train. What a wonderful experience, especially for the children. We stopped for about 2 hours in Beaufort West where we had a chance to walk around on the platform and witness the most beautiful sunset before the heavens opened and treated us to the spectacle of a full on thunderstorm. A feast for the senses!! We indulged in a 4 course lunch, 5 course dinner, full breakfast and high tea (s-t-r-e-t-c-h those pants!!) and massages while aboard the train. From Johannesburg, we hired a Toyota Quantum and drove to Toulon House in the Sabi Sands conservancy (which would be our base for the rest of our stay). Wayne (Adrian's brother) and Heather and their 2 precious children, Cole and Emma, live here where Wayne is the Director of Operations for 4 luxury lodges in the area.

We were blown away by the generosity of complete strangers (Wayne’s boss & family) who gave us the use of their unbelievably beautiful holiday home in the Sabi Sands conservancy for the week. The house overlooks a rimflow pool and then the Sand River and floodplain beyond, so you can literally lie in your bed and game watch! We also had the use of their private chef - who cooked us the most amazing dinners. It goes without saying that we all gained at least 2 kg!!

We were driven around by Wayne (Adrian's brother) on an open-topped game vehicle and got to witness the best-ever sightings of Leopard (one in a tree, one with his Impala kill and another young female stalking a Water buck), a pride of Lion with their Wildebeest kill & vultures circling overhead, a Wild Dog den, Rhino, Buffalo, Hyaena and pups, Elephant, Giraffe etc. etc. etc. all at very close range. Thanks to Wayne's tireless endeavours, my dad managed to get two "lifers" (a lifer is a bird you have never before seen in your life) and that is quite an accomplishment for him! He was ecstatic! We did some very exciting night drives too and spotted Genets and Bushbabys and Night birds. Just driving through that habitat at night, listening to the sounds of the wild is an experience of a lifetime! Pete and I celebrated our 12^th Wedding Anniversary while we were there, with yet another feast at one of the lodges Wayne oversees – just amazing!

Nikki was so well throughout the trip and joined us on most of the game drives – we did an early one on most of the mornings there. In the afternoons, we generally swam in the pool, lazed on the daybeds overlooking the river and ate, ate, ate! A late afternoon game drive / sundowners / night drive would usually follow, with dinner somewhere slotted into the program.

Since being home, Nix has been to see her rheumatologist who is amazed (once again!) at her condition and how well she is. He said that she should continue to do what she has been doing (which is basically self-medicating as she is led and as the need arises) - so she asked him if she could be paid his salary for doing this (instead of paying him to tell her that she is her best doctor!) ...

I have just fetched her from her weekly horse riding session and now she is off to Chemo at Vincent Palotti hospital - so never a dull moment for her. Nikki celebrates her 36^th birthday on Monday (16 May), I can NOT believe it’s a year since we celebrated her special day with the ladies at Shelley Point.

I have tried to upload some of our holiday pics to this post but am battling a bit. Hope to get on to do it soon – when I have some time on my hands (!!!) Till then…