It’s been another quiet period on the blog side. I feel like I am walking around in a daze most of the time, existing more than living. As the world speeds up to accommodate the festive season madness, I feel like it’s all happening in front of me, but I am not part of it – like watching a movie. The exhaustion of grief and the stress of the past 3 years I imagine… I am allowing myself time, grace and space for now. I can’t believe that in a week’s time it will be 3 months since I last saw my sister. I miss her so much, it’s unexplainable. I have mixed feelings about this blog site – whether to continue to update it or not, and in the last few weeks, I have not been able to bring myself to do it. I feel that I haven’t the energy to explain my feelings, there is no longer news to report on Nix and I find myself at a bit of a loss. God carries me like never before, but I have really enjoyed just resting in Him for a while, instead of trying to process every little thing.

Our precious friend, Penny (aka Penvelope, Pencil case and more…), came to visit me for a week (God loves me - this I know - because He has given me the gift of friendships like this one!) and she really encouraged me in so many ways. She is a breath of fresh air in my life (and to those around her!) She encouraged me to keep things going on the blog and I determined to do it. In the weeks to come I am going to find and post photos of Nikki, fun memories, special moments and lessons from her life to share, which friends and followers can add to or comment on. There are so many. If any followers have special "Nix moments" to share – please let me know and I will post them.

During Penny’s time with us, we were able to visit Shelley Point again and we celebrated my mom and Adrian’s birthdays there. It was heart wrenching and unreal to be there without our Nix this time, but it was also such a good, healing time for us as a family as we laughed and cried and chatted and remembered and celebrated and played and rested and ate together. It was wonderful to be able to share one of our favourite places on this earth with Penny.

More to celebrate - This week is our daring, gentle but strong, courageous, bug and snake loving, fisherman Dan’s birthday. He will be 7. So many new things await him in the year ahead. Big school, with all its challenges and wonders for a start. He will be having a snake party at Afton Grove – that should be right up his alley.

It is also Sunbeam’s annual nativity play. Megan has the role of Mary (she is taking it very seriously – this role is the pinnacle of her nursery school career!) Daniel has 2 roles to play (the leader of the Kings and the leader of the Shepherds), apparently because he is such a responsible and sensible boy. Sydney is an angel, a role which fits her perfectly! So that should be fun. I trust that it is all they have dreamed of and more. Till next time…

I have posted this scripture more than once before on this blog, but it carries me daily. I feel I should post it again J

PROVERBS 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.”