Our God is BIG!

This weekend was a little better for Nikki but the majority of last week was difficult for her. In addition to starting on the new oral chemo, she is slowly coming off the Cortisone too. Each time she reduces the dose, she gets withdrawal symptoms and all sorts of nasty side effects.

She once again finds herself in the position where she needs to make a decision about her treatment going forward. Should she continue on the Mabthera (an experimental chemo she takes 6 monthly, mainly to try to alleviate the aggressive arthritis) or not? It seems to have done wonders to help her joints and mobility over the last 6 months, but she is not sure whether this has been the reason for the recent developments of the disease in her liver and brain. Because she is an "experiment", doctors are not able to give her an answer or even to recommend a way forward. The decision is hers entirely. It seems that she is leaning towards going without the medication at this stage.

In the tough times, it is always tempting to focus on the problem / disease and, in our minds, our fear of it can outweigh our fear of God. When I was out running recently, the words of a song playing on my iPod helped to re-align my focus, as I got a whole new revelation of who God is and what He is able to accomplish. I began to shift my focus on to God, on to worhipping Him and thanking Him instead of directing all of my intercession and energy into problem / disease. He is so big and so awesome, beyond description. This Psalm says it so well:

Psa 97:1 - 6:

"The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice! Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne. Fire goes before Him and consumes His foes on every side. His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory.

It reminds me of this little saying:

"Don't tell God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your GOD is!"

Stand

It was such a blessing for Nikki to have her friend Lori come and visit from Australia last week. It's always so wonderful to spend good time with special friends and Lori's visit was rejuvenating for Nix. Among other things, Lori took Nikki to her appointment with her oncologist at UCT private hospital last week who started her on a new (oral) chemotherapy on Friday. She has to take the tablets twice a day. This is in addition to the Hercepton which she will continue receiving intravenously every 3 weeks for now. The new chemo has made her very tired and a bit sick too - perhaps her body needs time to adjust to the new chemicals (and probably to recover from the late night chatting and visiting too!).

We had a guest speaker minister in church on Sunday from Isaiah 43. It was a wonderful message and a lovely scripture. Here are vs 1 - 3:

"But now, this is what the Lord says - He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour".

We thank God for his tangible presence in our lives daily and for His constant reassurance and the hope that He gives us as we walk through these waters. As we prayed tonight at the weekly prayer meeting our church is holding for Nikki, may our God continue to uphold Nikki with His presence and give her the strength to stand, and having done all, to stand.

Results

I have been silent for a little while now. Nix needed a little time before I uploaded the latest news but is happy for me to "go public" now (she usually has to face quite a lot of questions after news like this as you can imagine). The results of her CT scan showed more spots in the liver (her last scan, in January this year, showed the liver to be almost clear / normal after treatment with harsh liver chemo, so this wasnt great news). The doctors are meeting in the coming week to discuss the way forward regarding her treatment. I dont think she will be allowed to continue on the strong liver chemo as her body has had enough of that. So it's up to them to decide where to from here. She remains absolutely unchanged in her outlook and continues to be the positive, faith-filled person we all know her to be.

She has suffered a bit over the last few days with debilitating headaches - so please keep her in your prayers in that regard.

The family have been sponsored 2 nights away at Bon Cap Organic Wine Farm / Guest Farm in Robertson (arranged through Amanda Power - who has bravely fought her own fight with Breast Cancer a few years back). They leave tomorrow, if Nikki is feeling strong enough, and will return on Tuesday, which is Hannah's 7th birthday! It will be so special for the family to spend Hannah's special day together, celebrating.

It's been good to have the children on their school holidays during the last week - we managed to catch up with friends and family and have some great fun together. We're gearing up for the madness of the 4th term now. Hold on to your hats!