Decisions, decisions

Nix has been facing a confusing and difficult time with major decisions to be made again.

She started on the Mabthera (experimental) treatment a few weeks back and is due for her second round this week. She has had to do some tests in the mean time though and found some progression in the disease in her breast - docs are not sure whether this is due to the new treatment or something else but they are currently discussing it amongst each other and making decisions as to the best course of treatment for her. Ultimately, the decision lies in Nikki's hands though. Please can we ask that you pray for wisdom regarding the best route to go re: treament and for peace in the decision she makes.

She continues to be the lovely, lively, upbeat and wonderful person she is in spite of everything that is thrown at her on a daily basis but this walk is not easy and we trust in God for His strength and grace for each new day. We are so grateful for His love.

Nikki's Birthday

We celebrated Nikki's birthday in style last weekend at Shelley Point with 10 of her close friends. Most of it was a surprise for her. All she knew is that my mom and I were taking her away for the weekend. It was truly a special time of friendship and fun. We stayed at the most perfect location in the world - The Villa on the Beach (thanks to Leen and Mies for that!) and we hired the Shelley Point Spa for the Saturday morning and were treated like queens! What more could you ask for - a house right on the beachfront, great weather and food, wonderful friends, treats and time together. Therapy! Here are some photos:


The girls in the Spa (minus Queenie). No value can be placed on times like these.

Nix and I looking fairly normal (unusual for us!) :-) Beleive me - we have proof!!

The weekend was followed by Chemotherapy first thing on Monday morning and Nix has been feeling the effects of the late nights on the weekend together with the Chemo this week so has had a rough week. She is such a trooper though, feeling stronger every day.

Hannah has her first violin recital this Friday - everyone is really excited about that. No one more than her though! So sweet...

Mother's Day

It was a cold, rainy and wet Mother's Day in Cape Town but we had a very special time with our beautiful Moms today. We had Nikki's family, Adrian's folks and our folks over to our house for a "healthy buffet" prepared by Pete and I (putting into practice some of my newly learned skills and recipes - yum!).

Nix has still not been well enough to start with the Mabthera treatment and has had to postpone a few times now. She is booked for tomorrow but thinks that they will most likely not go ahead as she still has not recovered from the flu. The Mabthera apparently shuts down the body's immune response to things like colds and flu so wouldnt be wise to start when you have flu). We'll wait to see what the doctors say in the morning...

Only a week to go to Nikki's 35th birthday on 16th May. I pray she feels better by then. We have some lovely surprises "up our sleeves" for her special day. Should be such fun. If you remember, please send her a message to let her know what she means to you.

In the mean time, keep warm! I am going to tuck up in bed now - only place to be on a wintry evening like this. Bye!

Nix has had a rough couple of weeks. She was supposed to start on a new Chemotherapy drug (Mabthera) last week Wednesday but suddenly came down with every bug that was flying around, including conjunctivitis. She still has not recovered completely so I am sure she will not be allowed to go ahead with the Mabthera tomorrow as planned. We appreciate all of your prayers in this area. I feel so for her - she has not had a decent night's sleep in who knows how long as she struggles with so much pain, particularly at night. We are praying that when she eventually starts on the Mabthera, it brings some relief to her inflamed joints.

There are so many benefits to serving the Lord, but Psalm 103 lists some goodies...

Psalm 103:2, 3

"Praise the Lord O my soul and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases..." (check out the rest of the Psalm too - love it!)

Them Bones and Teeth

More wonderful news! After meeting with her oncologist and maxillo facial surgeon last week regarding possible necrosis in her jaw, they decided Nikki needed another bone scan. She has not had another bone scan since the initial scan done when she was diagnosed in August last year. Nikki's oncologist has been very hesitant to scan the bone again as she said that if her condition had worsened, medical aid would cut their funding immediately. So, Nikki set off tentatively for her bone scan earlier this week. The results came back showing an improvement in all areas of bone affected by the cancer. To top it all off, the area of concern (possible necrosis) in her mouth turned out to be a chip of the tooth that was extracted last year, she managed to wiggle it out yesterday - on the very same day that Hannah lost her first tooth (which she is so excited about!) How good is that?!?!? Praise God!!

We are getting there....I like this quote...

"How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?" William Shakespeare.

I know our God can do it in an instant, but that's not always the plan, so we are continuing to practice patience. There is a lot of wisdom in that.

I love this too, it sums up my sister in a nutshell...

Proverbs 31:25 - "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come".

The horse on a soapbox

From the heading you have probably realised it's me again!

Firstly... WELL DONE! to EVE- and anyone else who ran on Saturday - you guys deserve serious respect!

As you would have read on her last update, there was far more meaning behind all the training and running she has been doing lately and I wanted to say to my sweet sister, that I appreciate YOU so much, and all the support you have shown me...Thank you! I love you so much!

Secondly.... A little update on me:
Tuesday (2 weeks ago ) I went for a heart scan to check that the "Hercepton" I am on at the moment is not causing any problems with my heart - quite strange test - they inject you with a radio-active substance and do a scan in a strange machine to test your heart function. very interesting - All in all my heart is Great - YAY!
Wednesday (2 weeks ago) I went to see my Reumatologist: he's sent in the application forms for me to start on a new drug called "Mabthera" he also says I have cysts behind my knees from all the inflammation, which might explain some of the 'new' pain. In short, once the application has been processed, I might start on that drug - yuk, more drugs! was hoping to avoid that route, but it will be a little bit of an experiment, as the 2 drugs are not used together normally, and we'll have to see how that goes (who knows, they may make some medical breakthrough with me being the Guinea-pig - who knows?)
Tuesday (last week) went for a CT scan to monitor general state of organs, etc. was such a relief that they got a vein first time, as most of the previous times my arm has ended up looking like a pin-cushion, and once they even had to send me to the ultra-sound room for guidance to find a vein - so you can imagine my relief that they got one first time. (small pleasures :)
Wednesday (last week) Eve and I made a day of going
Firstly; to the Maxillo-Facial Surgeon. There is a small 'thing' on my jawbone which he wants to remove, but has to chat to my oncologist as (things are never simple, are they?) i am on a drug to strengthen my bones, which prevents me from having any dental procedures. so I'll go back to see him in a few weeks to see what can be done.
Secondly; we were off to Rondebosch for Chemo (after a yummy healthy lunch at the common-ground cafe) - My oncologist said that the scans were okay, and apart from one or 2 things which he was going to follow up on, everything seemed pretty much like they were last time they did the scans (Dec) he also said he would need to chat to the Maxillo-Facial Surgeon to discuss how to best sort out my mouth. He said i should not have the Zometa (bone strengthening drug) this cycle, and we'll take it from there.

So, that's a wrap on me.. my joints have been sore, but I've been sleeping better which has helped.
Been Fun to be on holiday with the sweet kids, and all in all, been having lots of fun!

Thirdly... The (main) reason I decided to write on the blog again, is because -over this weekend, being Easter and all, I have been doing a lot of thinking...

As I am writing this, my wrists are 'freezing up' and getting more and more sore while i type - which is why i don't do much typing.. but really feel I'd like to get this message across to you, so please hear me out!

For So much of my life I have carried around this massive frustration ... that I care for So many, so deeply - there are SO many people in my life, so many friends and family that I love SO much and am desperate to Share MY GOD with them - but it is because I love them so much that, ironically, it is often difficult to talk about the most important things with them, as I don't want them to think that I'm judging them (or think they need to change - because they are so lovely just as they are - and i am not judging them) I am just desperate to share THE most AMAZING part of my life with them.

...In a way it's kind of like trying to convince someone how awesome it would be for them to have children, or someone to love in their life. Until they are open to it, or it becomes real to them, they don't really understand what you mean. Then - maybe one day, they experience it for themself, and realise the richness of that new love! - well.. it's almost like that, only in the biggest form of love possible :)

One good thing that has come of all I have gone through lately, is that I find people are keen to Listen if I have something to say, so i'm taking this opportunity, if you will... to talk... unlike all those years where time has gone by and i've not explained what's really been on my heart... on this the day marking the end of easter, I'm going to share something that's (always) burning in my heart...

I'm not sure where you stand, what you may have been through, or what your experience is of Christ - or what your understanding is of what He did for us that day on the cross.

Some of you might have been hurt by people, maybe by church.. or difficult curcumstances, but I know that it would not have been God who hurt you.

The one thing I know, is that I Love and Adore and I TRUST HIM COMPLETELY! I am confident in that whatever I have to go through, I have Him to go through it with, and that is a huge comfort to me! God promises that nothing can separate us from His Love - not Life, nor Death, nor anything else. So whatever we face, we don't have to worry, if He is with us, we are safe! My Dream is that All of you will get to know Him the same way (or more) than I do..

I was recently given a beautiful book, which some of you might have been involved in putting together (for those who Ash knew and managed to contact). Included in this book is the following clip which was taken from a book (which I read recently, too) by Barbara Johnson, who has gone through the trauma of a brain tumour, the loss of 2 children and other difficult obstacles she has faced in her life - I loved this quote (from Margaret Clarkson) in her book:

"God didn't promise us days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but HE DID PROMISE us strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way." ... another quote I remembered from her book was... "As we cling to God to get us through he dark times, our faith is strengthened until it becomes unshakable." ... "Remember that grapes must be crushed to make the fine wine, and wheat must be crushed to make bread. Brokenness brings wholeness to us all in a variety of ways. Broken hearts, broken bodies, broken dreams... and then, in the midst of our brokenness, we feel ourselves pressed against the unshakable presence of God, and there we find peace; there we find strength and courage for the next step."

Yesterday morning, just before the Easter Service at our Church, I was getting ready to go, and thinking (as I so often do at that late moment) about who I would have liked to invite to the Easter service with us.. then I thought.. I wonder if my friends realise that (while it is a privilege to have them join us and I absolutely Love it if any of them come to our church) ... that it's not the most important thing (to me) if they come to church or not - but what is important (to me) is that they know and understand God in a new way. So my prayer and HOPE for Easter this year, is: for those who don't know Jesus, and have never had him as part of your life, that you would come to find Him and recognise the Power He has in your life through what He accomplished on the cross for you - that your life will become so rich once you find Him. For those who knew Him once, but have moved away from Him - that you would come back to Him, and know Him in a new, very real way. And for those who know Him already, that you will learn so much more about Him, that you will be changed forever.. and so ultimately, we would all know Him, and walk in the plans He has for each and every one of our lives - then my life would be as FULL as it could be, Indeed!
With Love,
Nikki

Mission Accomplished

I woke up at 4.30 this morning and set off tentatively into the drizzly dark morning to take my place with the thousands of others at the start of the Two Oceans Marathon this morning.

The race was a wonderful experience. The vibe and atmosphere of the start continued throughout the race with the horbes of spectators lining the roads as we ran. (I think some of them will be more whacked than the runners tonight judging by the effort they put into their screaming and encouragement!) Their infectious spirit literally carried us all the way to the end.

It was a picture of life really - and it just reminded me how important those special people who walk alongside you in this life are. The encouragers who stand on the sidelines supporting you and holding you up in prayer literally give you the strength to continue along the course that lies ahead. They are essential, they are gifts and I so appreciate each and every one!

I finished the race in 1 hour 54 minutes (my goal was under 2 hours so that was good).

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. As promised, I dedicated every step to my sweet Nix and asked our Father that with every step I took, the enemy's plans would be defeated and that her hands and limbs would be strengthened. Because of this goal, I saw much of the race as quite a simple parallel to life. So as I ran, there was another little incident / life lesson which God really spoke to me through (don't laugh OK :-) It's a typical "Eve move")...

As the roads were immensely congested for the first half of the run, I decided to try to get ahead by doing some of the off road trail running I am more used to and took to running along the road shoulder to up my pace a little. It was still dark (around 6.30 am) when I found myself at the foot of Southern Cross Drive, I didnt see a cable sticking out of the ground and I managed to trip and take a spectacular tumble along the road, causing a bit of commotion amongst the runners and spectators and grazing my arms a bit (lovely!). But this little incident really spoke to me and I beleive it was a wonderful illustration of how the enemy comes along in life with the intention of tripping you up and taking you out of the race. He places obstacles in our path and there are hiccups and questions along the road of life. The amazing thing is that this little incident gave me such an adrenaline boost, I literally shot up Southern Cross Drive (3km uphill) after that (no Powerade needed!), so what the enemy intended for harm, God used for good. I accomplished my goal and I beleive there was a heavenly victory for my sister today too. Dont look at the obstacles but keep your eyes firmly set on the goal that lies ahead.

Phillipians 3:13:

"...But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."